I really appreciate this framing of the inner child wound and the honesty about the limits of healing in therapy alone. Naming where traditional or even unorthodox inner child work can’t fully reach—and where relational repair still matters—feels both grounding and compassionate.
As a trauma therapist, it’s painful to witness how many of these are lonely wounds—formed when a child needed co-regulation and instead had to become the regulator. Your writing names the wound as relational, not moral or motivational, which is so freeing. The injury wasn’t a failure of self-love, but reaching for attunement and meeting absence, chaos, or role reversal. I especially feel for those whose only truly psychologically safe relationship has been with themselves.
So beautiful. And it's exactly as you have written. We don't have to heal alone, we can heal in relationships as well (not necessarily romantic). Having people who can hold space for you is priceless 🤍
Hi, I love your writing, clarity, honesty, and direction. It all gives me a lot to consider and work with and I’m grateful for it. I’m just curious about this piece and the end of it. It resonated a lot with me, especially as I realize what a self healer kind of junkie I am. But I’m confused as to how you can write a piece like this, saying what you do and then sell a $2000 dollar course at the end of it that is all online and done mostly by yourself with “guided meditations” and “journal prompts,” the exact things you’re debunking in your text. Genuinely curious about your perspective on this. I know we all need to work, live, and make money but that seems like quite a contradiction to what you’re preaching here, no?
Leo, thank you for this question—it's a fair one and I appreciate you asking directly rather than just assuming hypocrisy.
The piece critiques the idea that inner child work alone can heal us—that if we just do enough journaling and meditation, we'll fix what's actually a relational and systemic wound. The INBODY Method isn't a contradiction to that. It's a 14-week cohort-based program with live calls and community. The meditations and prompts aren't the point; they're entry points into somatic experience that we process together. We were wounded in connection; we heal in connection.
On the money piece: the idea that people in helping professions shouldn't receive payment for their work is itself exploitative capitalism logic—the same thinking that underpays nurses, teachers, and therapists while expecting their labour as a given. The same logic that feeds much of self-help or self-development work keeps people hooked into believing they ned to purchase more. I give a free spot for every paid one. I offer scholarships. I offer payment plans. I pay my guest teachers and my team. And I offer all the writing you have enjoyed here and on my other social media accounts, for free.
If you're working in this field today and you have bills, you're holding the tension and finding ways to offer what you can without receiving back and places where you do need to receive back. It is a tension we all hold together.
"The self development industry profits from keeping healing individual" approaches libel or conspiracy theory. It casts everyone in the field as part of some shadowy organization or conspiracy, plotting to extract money from patients or keep them separated as individuals.
It's not either-or. We need both internal relationships between parts AND external relationships with other people. However, for external relationships:
- not everyone starts off with the skills to have close relationships. Surely you are aware of abuse (sexual and otherwise), child neglect, alcoholic parents, the autism spectrum, shame, gaslighting, etc.
- not everyone is lucky enough to have found good friends, at a point where their social skills are good enough to create and maintain such relationships.
- not every friend has the skills and inclination to receive, hold, honor and keep confidential deeply personal issues. Have you ever been shouted at, "NO (family role) WOULD DO THAT!!!"? And I'm sure we can all imagine sharing something deeply personal that we feel shame about -- and the next day at school or work or the class, we find out that our story has been spread around. Maybe someone who thinks they are doing a good thing tells your abuser that you have been saying bad things about them, and tries to get you together with them to talk it out.
Individual therapists have a crucial role in healing.
THE ONLY WAY FOR WOMEN IS TO STOP WOMEN OBJECTIFICATION/SELF-OBJECTIFICATION, SEXUALIZATION AND SELF-SEXUALIZATION AND STOP SELLING THEMSELVES AS OBJECTS AND TO STOP BEAUTIFYING THEMSELVES AND ASKING FOR ATTENTION ABOUT THEIR LOOKS- ALSO ONLINE, AND STARTING TO TORTURE MALES AND DO THEM THESE THINGS !!!
AND ITS REALLY FUCKIN ENTITLEMENT OF MALES TO THINK ITS OK THAT I SEE NAKED CUNTS EVERYWHERE BUT THEY DONT WANT TO SEE NAKED MALES EVERYWHERE!
THEY GONNA BE FORCED TO ACEPT IT, THEY WILL BE SUFFOCATED BY MALE NUDE CONTENT EEEEVERYWHERE! AND THEY WILL BE PUNISHED FOR CRITICIZING IT OR FOR THEIR DUSGUST FROM NAKED HOT SEXY BEAUTY MALE BODIES!!
I really appreciate this framing of the inner child wound and the honesty about the limits of healing in therapy alone. Naming where traditional or even unorthodox inner child work can’t fully reach—and where relational repair still matters—feels both grounding and compassionate.
As a trauma therapist, it’s painful to witness how many of these are lonely wounds—formed when a child needed co-regulation and instead had to become the regulator. Your writing names the wound as relational, not moral or motivational, which is so freeing. The injury wasn’t a failure of self-love, but reaching for attunement and meeting absence, chaos, or role reversal. I especially feel for those whose only truly psychologically safe relationship has been with themselves.
So beautiful. And it's exactly as you have written. We don't have to heal alone, we can heal in relationships as well (not necessarily romantic). Having people who can hold space for you is priceless 🤍
Hi, I love your writing, clarity, honesty, and direction. It all gives me a lot to consider and work with and I’m grateful for it. I’m just curious about this piece and the end of it. It resonated a lot with me, especially as I realize what a self healer kind of junkie I am. But I’m confused as to how you can write a piece like this, saying what you do and then sell a $2000 dollar course at the end of it that is all online and done mostly by yourself with “guided meditations” and “journal prompts,” the exact things you’re debunking in your text. Genuinely curious about your perspective on this. I know we all need to work, live, and make money but that seems like quite a contradiction to what you’re preaching here, no?
Leo, thank you for this question—it's a fair one and I appreciate you asking directly rather than just assuming hypocrisy.
The piece critiques the idea that inner child work alone can heal us—that if we just do enough journaling and meditation, we'll fix what's actually a relational and systemic wound. The INBODY Method isn't a contradiction to that. It's a 14-week cohort-based program with live calls and community. The meditations and prompts aren't the point; they're entry points into somatic experience that we process together. We were wounded in connection; we heal in connection.
On the money piece: the idea that people in helping professions shouldn't receive payment for their work is itself exploitative capitalism logic—the same thinking that underpays nurses, teachers, and therapists while expecting their labour as a given. The same logic that feeds much of self-help or self-development work keeps people hooked into believing they ned to purchase more. I give a free spot for every paid one. I offer scholarships. I offer payment plans. I pay my guest teachers and my team. And I offer all the writing you have enjoyed here and on my other social media accounts, for free.
If you're working in this field today and you have bills, you're holding the tension and finding ways to offer what you can without receiving back and places where you do need to receive back. It is a tension we all hold together.
If relying on others in this way, would that not mean that one never truly learns self regulation and the feeling of their body from within?
"The self development industry profits from keeping healing individual" approaches libel or conspiracy theory. It casts everyone in the field as part of some shadowy organization or conspiracy, plotting to extract money from patients or keep them separated as individuals.
It's not either-or. We need both internal relationships between parts AND external relationships with other people. However, for external relationships:
- not everyone starts off with the skills to have close relationships. Surely you are aware of abuse (sexual and otherwise), child neglect, alcoholic parents, the autism spectrum, shame, gaslighting, etc.
- not everyone is lucky enough to have found good friends, at a point where their social skills are good enough to create and maintain such relationships.
- not every friend has the skills and inclination to receive, hold, honor and keep confidential deeply personal issues. Have you ever been shouted at, "NO (family role) WOULD DO THAT!!!"? And I'm sure we can all imagine sharing something deeply personal that we feel shame about -- and the next day at school or work or the class, we find out that our story has been spread around. Maybe someone who thinks they are doing a good thing tells your abuser that you have been saying bad things about them, and tries to get you together with them to talk it out.
Individual therapists have a crucial role in healing.
THE ONLY WAY FOR WOMEN IS TO STOP WOMEN OBJECTIFICATION/SELF-OBJECTIFICATION, SEXUALIZATION AND SELF-SEXUALIZATION AND STOP SELLING THEMSELVES AS OBJECTS AND TO STOP BEAUTIFYING THEMSELVES AND ASKING FOR ATTENTION ABOUT THEIR LOOKS- ALSO ONLINE, AND STARTING TO TORTURE MALES AND DO THEM THESE THINGS !!!
AND ITS REALLY FUCKIN ENTITLEMENT OF MALES TO THINK ITS OK THAT I SEE NAKED CUNTS EVERYWHERE BUT THEY DONT WANT TO SEE NAKED MALES EVERYWHERE!
THEY GONNA BE FORCED TO ACEPT IT, THEY WILL BE SUFFOCATED BY MALE NUDE CONTENT EEEEVERYWHERE! AND THEY WILL BE PUNISHED FOR CRITICIZING IT OR FOR THEIR DUSGUST FROM NAKED HOT SEXY BEAUTY MALE BODIES!!