The Paradox of Choice and Embodiment

Choice feminism tells us that autonomy over our bodies is the hallmark of liberation. It suggests that as long as a woman chooses—whether to pursue career, family, fitness, or aesthetics—it’s inherently feminist. The power lies in the act of choosing. But what happens when this framework of choice is subtly shaped by cultural, societal, and patriarchal forces? What happens when the freedom to choose is constrained by invisible pressures that govern how we relate to our bodies?

In my work as a therapist, I’ve often heard clients express that they are making empowered choices—about their appearance, their relationships, their health—all under the guise of self-determination. "I’m doing this for me," they’ll say, whether they’re choosing cosmetic procedures, committing to extreme wellness regimens, or constantly striving to meet beauty standards that, on the surface, they claim to reject. But as we unpack these choices in therapy, it becomes clear that these decisions are not always as free as they seem. Beneath the surface, their bodies have become battlegrounds for societal expectations, where autonomy and agency collide with deeply internalized cultural scripts that are impacting their mental health. The impact on their mental health is what allows me to lean in and ask them tough questions.

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