I love this. Thank you for writing to this. I often tell my clients that the nothing they might feel is actually something. It is information. Just as valuable as big sensations. I am a big fan of your podcast and love your heartFULL and generous approach to the good work you are doing in the world.
This post found me at exactly the right time. I thank you so much for your words - they resonate so deeply with me right now.
Today my therapist asked how I was feeling. I felt like today was a good day so I said calm, but I knew I wasn't totally calm - my body didn't feel calm - it felt on edge. The reason I named that feeling was because I couldn't find something to stress about today, and that label was the first to spring to mind which describe how I was feeling. And I didn't know how to process that, the absence of stress felt uncomfortable. Maybe I don't feel calm right now - maybe I feel numb. And I guess that's OK. My body is still in protection mode from past trauma - my body knows how to cope in stressful situations but the absence of that is unfamiliar. It doesnt feel safe when there isn't anything going on. And so I suppose only by sitting with that unfamiliarity can I become familiar and safe with it.
I found this post so moving, thank you. From the minute I had what I initially called a breakdown (I now realise it wasn't 'me' that was breaking down, but patterns of behaviour that I wanted to let go of) I made myself 'wrong' and tried to fix myself in a multitude of ways. I now know how everything I've ever felt was necessary to protect me until my nervous system was able to tolerate the dysregulation I've experienced. Reading this, I'm able to see how I haven't been wrong or weak when I've felt anxious and overwhelmed and these times are an opportunity to take care of myself, not believe I should be feeling OK by now 🙏 Karen
I found this so interesting and insightful. My ex-fiancé broke off our engagement recently and I felt numb for some time. And more recently I don’t, and I’m feeling everything, and I couldn’t understand why it got so hard. But perhaps it’s because it’s safe for me to feel my feelings now when it wasn’t before. And maybe I should look at that as a good thing, even though it hurts more, my body is telling me it is safe to process and heal now.
Thank you so much for writing this. It feels like an echo of my recent post which I literally made off the back of your note ‘numbness isn’t the absence of feeling, it’s the presence of protection’.
It made me cry to feel so immediately recognised in that moment that I wrote my reflection on it and realised I’d been forcing or expecting much larger emotion than I’ve been experiencing. Thank you thank you thank you xxx
As a trained Spiritual Director who teaches Focusing (Eugene Gendlin) as a way to listen to the body’s wisdom, your words have opened my perspective to more wholistic wisdom the body carries. There are messages in all sensations, discomfort, and numbness. Thank you for opening my heart even further into this practice.
I love how you write, and the depth of your respect for the body’s wisdom, the intersection of the personal and the collective, and the pace at which actual healing becomes possible. Thank you. ❤️
I love this. Thank you for writing to this. I often tell my clients that the nothing they might feel is actually something. It is information. Just as valuable as big sensations. I am a big fan of your podcast and love your heartFULL and generous approach to the good work you are doing in the world.
Thank you so much!!! I really appreciate your kinds words.
This post found me at exactly the right time. I thank you so much for your words - they resonate so deeply with me right now.
Today my therapist asked how I was feeling. I felt like today was a good day so I said calm, but I knew I wasn't totally calm - my body didn't feel calm - it felt on edge. The reason I named that feeling was because I couldn't find something to stress about today, and that label was the first to spring to mind which describe how I was feeling. And I didn't know how to process that, the absence of stress felt uncomfortable. Maybe I don't feel calm right now - maybe I feel numb. And I guess that's OK. My body is still in protection mode from past trauma - my body knows how to cope in stressful situations but the absence of that is unfamiliar. It doesnt feel safe when there isn't anything going on. And so I suppose only by sitting with that unfamiliarity can I become familiar and safe with it.
I found this post so moving, thank you. From the minute I had what I initially called a breakdown (I now realise it wasn't 'me' that was breaking down, but patterns of behaviour that I wanted to let go of) I made myself 'wrong' and tried to fix myself in a multitude of ways. I now know how everything I've ever felt was necessary to protect me until my nervous system was able to tolerate the dysregulation I've experienced. Reading this, I'm able to see how I haven't been wrong or weak when I've felt anxious and overwhelmed and these times are an opportunity to take care of myself, not believe I should be feeling OK by now 🙏 Karen
I found this so interesting and insightful. My ex-fiancé broke off our engagement recently and I felt numb for some time. And more recently I don’t, and I’m feeling everything, and I couldn’t understand why it got so hard. But perhaps it’s because it’s safe for me to feel my feelings now when it wasn’t before. And maybe I should look at that as a good thing, even though it hurts more, my body is telling me it is safe to process and heal now.
Thank you so much for writing this. It feels like an echo of my recent post which I literally made off the back of your note ‘numbness isn’t the absence of feeling, it’s the presence of protection’.
It made me cry to feel so immediately recognised in that moment that I wrote my reflection on it and realised I’d been forcing or expecting much larger emotion than I’ve been experiencing. Thank you thank you thank you xxx
Wow. There’s so much wisdom here, thank you. 🙏
As a trained Spiritual Director who teaches Focusing (Eugene Gendlin) as a way to listen to the body’s wisdom, your words have opened my perspective to more wholistic wisdom the body carries. There are messages in all sensations, discomfort, and numbness. Thank you for opening my heart even further into this practice.
Thank once more for writing the words my body has been waiting for x
I love how you write, and the depth of your respect for the body’s wisdom, the intersection of the personal and the collective, and the pace at which actual healing becomes possible. Thank you. ❤️
Brilliantly and clearly explained!! ⭐🦋