“So what does repairing the rupture of self-abandonment require?
“It begins with sensation. Not with story. Not with insight. Not even with clarity. But with the willingness to pause and feel. When your stomach tightens, pause. When your voice flattens, notice. Give it breath. Give it recognition. This is the beginning of somatic repair: letting the body complete what it was forced to silence.”
I really appreciate this bit. Thank you. Well said.
This is so helpful and I'm reminded how I sometimes invalidate myself and my own experiences. When I start to hear an inner voice say 'I shouldn't be feeling....' I know I've abandoned myself and need to step back into my body.
You have a gift, my friend. Please keep nurturing it and sharing the beauty of your life's truth. Not only do I feel seen when I read your words, but can feel my whole being echoing outward to it's wisdom. Salamat/thank you.
Wow thank you this is so insightful, I haven't heard this before! Coming from someone who is wanting to help others and very much resonates with the spiritual bypassing message, how can I recognise if I am unknowingly projecting these narratives onto others?!
Yes, we call this "califphonyialand". All those fresh faced Esalen gurus from the 1960s and 70s who make you feel so spiritually inferior in the face of their extraordinary attainment.
So true! We are on similar paths, taking a stand for trauma-informed healing in a world that needs it more than ever (yes, even the spiritual community). I am walking this path with you with Embodied JourneyWork. Affirmations don’t work when we ignore the body screaming truth.
Thank you!!!!!!!!! Your written hits home perfectly. And it’s perfectly timed. I just survived through and left a relationship that was drenched in spiritual language, bypassing and gaslighting and all it did was make me collapse and shrivel up and I pop out the other end with determination to drop back into my body’s truth. So thank you for writing this to give clear words to my lived experience 💕💕🙏
Thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom. I desperately spiritually bypassed for many years and am slowly making amends with those I have hurt because of it. Oh my, I was so sincere. I appreciate your voice, in addition to Lissa Rankin and Jeffrey Reddinger. I’m baby stepping my way to authentic embodiment, understanding but rejecting the performance I play out for myself (never works). I’m a much kinder and authentic because of my teachers, so your influence reaches through me to others. Keep it up, please.
Thank you for being here and sharing 💛! Also thank you for leaving some names, I also appreciate you bubble of awareness expanding. Sending you a big 🫂
Could not read/like this fast enough! This is so powerful and well-said - thank you sooo much for writing it. "Spiritual dominance" is such a fitting phrase for something that is far too common.
This reminds me of so much I encountered in both religion and new age spirituality. The bypassing is very real in both. It's also why I called my Substack Towards Embodied Living - it's a journey and relationship for me.
How timely is this reading....as I move into exploring lived spiritually vs. The more ethereal presentation. In my 20s, it felt odd to here many people I admire hold a desire to just leave the body. I didn't have words for this but something didn't align. Now, when more information about somatic embodiment is available, I'm starting to have a map to validate what I didn't have words for and more importantly to inviteento be with myself and learn the language of my body as reverence, as truth...thank you for your words and your advocacy for us to be with ourselves in a grounded and real way.
It helps me clarify when I use words like awakening and power in context and from Wholeness.
It also helps me understand what I'd seen more than a decade ago and what I'm seeing now that I'm back online.
Like how do you even perform presence?
Getting a piercing headache whenever something is just intellectually spoken instead of coming from embodied understanding is how I know the difference.
It's become more pronounced since I got pregnant 8 years ago.
This whole idea of being a 'good teacher/coach/therapist/Mom' which has patriarchal roots got us all twisting to fit into a certain image.
But we are in a human body ( not a pine tree) here on this beautiful Earth. And we are subject to the energy cycles of both which include pressure and stress as part of the design. And also neutral and calm, resting mode.
Can we say, Hello, welcome!, to any sensation without rushing to fix it and give it a name or call it names? Can we open up to this nakenedness of life running through our veins?
"Which parts of my body have become fluent in silence to preserve belonging?"
I felt that one in the throat, heart & gut. The learned behaviours & social expectations of keeping the peace, of acting professional, there being appropriate time and place for conversations, etc. - why not speak our truths now? Yes, I can't force others I'm in relationship with to healing when the sensations arise in my body that need expressing (as that doesn't feel good to me) but I also can't deny what my body is screaming inside to let out.
I can do a certain amount of healing work on my own, but for the energetic cycle of healing to feel complete it calls to be done with others and upon the land which witnessed the rupture in relationship (if possible). It's messy, it's inconvenient, it can't be scheduled or planned for ahead of time because it's our truths, in that moment, asking us to surrender to the mystery of the now to show our wholeness - healed scars, bleeding hearts, aching needs, shaking bodies, water flowing out of noses & eyes, steam escaping from our ears. Just like a volcano that's needs to release the buildup of materials - it can be soft and gentle on one end of the spectrum all the way through to being explosive and destructive on the other side of the spectrum. But it is necessary and part of being in relationship (we will hurt each other) and I'd love to explore ways of building supportive structures around this desperately needed aspect of engaging with others:
- When do we begin to admit that this is something we, as relational beings need in order to move towards each other, instead of ignoring it and moving further apart from one another?
- How do we shift the prioritization of outcomes (the doing part) towards a more equitable prioritization of relationship tending & repair (the being part)?
- How do we as a society begin to move towards prioritizing the repair of ruptured relationships that go beyond individual therapy sessions and non-party healing circles ?
- How do we begin to move from relational tending & repair being the responsibility of the individuals involved towards it also being the responsibility of society/all of us?
“So what does repairing the rupture of self-abandonment require?
“It begins with sensation. Not with story. Not with insight. Not even with clarity. But with the willingness to pause and feel. When your stomach tightens, pause. When your voice flattens, notice. Give it breath. Give it recognition. This is the beginning of somatic repair: letting the body complete what it was forced to silence.”
I really appreciate this bit. Thank you. Well said.
This is so helpful and I'm reminded how I sometimes invalidate myself and my own experiences. When I start to hear an inner voice say 'I shouldn't be feeling....' I know I've abandoned myself and need to step back into my body.
Could not agree more!!
Wings
An invitation…
The wings you grew,
that saved your life,
were only for that moment.
Take back the body
that belongs to you.
Bleed from your heart.
Don’t go beyond the moon.
Put away your Tarot cards.
You don’t need to know
how the stars are aligned.
There is no healing
in the sky.
Bleed into your Mother.
Cover your skin with mud.
Where your life begins.
Michael Tscheu
💛💛💛 so well written
You have a gift, my friend. Please keep nurturing it and sharing the beauty of your life's truth. Not only do I feel seen when I read your words, but can feel my whole being echoing outward to it's wisdom. Salamat/thank you.
Thank you 😊
Amazing! Thank you for this poem.
Wow thank you this is so insightful, I haven't heard this before! Coming from someone who is wanting to help others and very much resonates with the spiritual bypassing message, how can I recognise if I am unknowingly projecting these narratives onto others?!
Will write more about this in the future x Thank you for being here!!
Yes, we call this "califphonyialand". All those fresh faced Esalen gurus from the 1960s and 70s who make you feel so spiritually inferior in the face of their extraordinary attainment.
I LOVE THIS. Thank you for sharing!
So true! We are on similar paths, taking a stand for trauma-informed healing in a world that needs it more than ever (yes, even the spiritual community). I am walking this path with you with Embodied JourneyWork. Affirmations don’t work when we ignore the body screaming truth.
YES! They sure do not 💛
EFT/Tapping has been the bridge for me. Tapping in both truth and affirmation.
Thank you!!!!!!!!! Your written hits home perfectly. And it’s perfectly timed. I just survived through and left a relationship that was drenched in spiritual language, bypassing and gaslighting and all it did was make me collapse and shrivel up and I pop out the other end with determination to drop back into my body’s truth. So thank you for writing this to give clear words to my lived experience 💕💕🙏
My absolute honour!!
Thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom. I desperately spiritually bypassed for many years and am slowly making amends with those I have hurt because of it. Oh my, I was so sincere. I appreciate your voice, in addition to Lissa Rankin and Jeffrey Reddinger. I’m baby stepping my way to authentic embodiment, understanding but rejecting the performance I play out for myself (never works). I’m a much kinder and authentic because of my teachers, so your influence reaches through me to others. Keep it up, please.
Thank you for being here and sharing 💛! Also thank you for leaving some names, I also appreciate you bubble of awareness expanding. Sending you a big 🫂
Could not read/like this fast enough! This is so powerful and well-said - thank you sooo much for writing it. "Spiritual dominance" is such a fitting phrase for something that is far too common.
Thank you!! I so appreciate you taking the time to read 💛💛💛
Thank you! This helped me so much.❤️
My honour ❤️
This reminds me of so much I encountered in both religion and new age spirituality. The bypassing is very real in both. It's also why I called my Substack Towards Embodied Living - it's a journey and relationship for me.
!!! We both felt it and were called to create!!
How timely is this reading....as I move into exploring lived spiritually vs. The more ethereal presentation. In my 20s, it felt odd to here many people I admire hold a desire to just leave the body. I didn't have words for this but something didn't align. Now, when more information about somatic embodiment is available, I'm starting to have a map to validate what I didn't have words for and more importantly to inviteento be with myself and learn the language of my body as reverence, as truth...thank you for your words and your advocacy for us to be with ourselves in a grounded and real way.
Thank you for writing about this. 🙏🏾
It helps me clarify when I use words like awakening and power in context and from Wholeness.
It also helps me understand what I'd seen more than a decade ago and what I'm seeing now that I'm back online.
Like how do you even perform presence?
Getting a piercing headache whenever something is just intellectually spoken instead of coming from embodied understanding is how I know the difference.
It's become more pronounced since I got pregnant 8 years ago.
This whole idea of being a 'good teacher/coach/therapist/Mom' which has patriarchal roots got us all twisting to fit into a certain image.
But we are in a human body ( not a pine tree) here on this beautiful Earth. And we are subject to the energy cycles of both which include pressure and stress as part of the design. And also neutral and calm, resting mode.
Can we say, Hello, welcome!, to any sensation without rushing to fix it and give it a name or call it names? Can we open up to this nakenedness of life running through our veins?
Is this what you're conveying?
"Which parts of my body have become fluent in silence to preserve belonging?"
I felt that one in the throat, heart & gut. The learned behaviours & social expectations of keeping the peace, of acting professional, there being appropriate time and place for conversations, etc. - why not speak our truths now? Yes, I can't force others I'm in relationship with to healing when the sensations arise in my body that need expressing (as that doesn't feel good to me) but I also can't deny what my body is screaming inside to let out.
I can do a certain amount of healing work on my own, but for the energetic cycle of healing to feel complete it calls to be done with others and upon the land which witnessed the rupture in relationship (if possible). It's messy, it's inconvenient, it can't be scheduled or planned for ahead of time because it's our truths, in that moment, asking us to surrender to the mystery of the now to show our wholeness - healed scars, bleeding hearts, aching needs, shaking bodies, water flowing out of noses & eyes, steam escaping from our ears. Just like a volcano that's needs to release the buildup of materials - it can be soft and gentle on one end of the spectrum all the way through to being explosive and destructive on the other side of the spectrum. But it is necessary and part of being in relationship (we will hurt each other) and I'd love to explore ways of building supportive structures around this desperately needed aspect of engaging with others:
- When do we begin to admit that this is something we, as relational beings need in order to move towards each other, instead of ignoring it and moving further apart from one another?
- How do we shift the prioritization of outcomes (the doing part) towards a more equitable prioritization of relationship tending & repair (the being part)?
- How do we as a society begin to move towards prioritizing the repair of ruptured relationships that go beyond individual therapy sessions and non-party healing circles ?
- How do we begin to move from relational tending & repair being the responsibility of the individuals involved towards it also being the responsibility of society/all of us?
As always, more questions than answers.
I wish I read this 20 years ago. Thank you!
Thank you for this.